the right to bear arms.

flash fiction

the end

she walked up to me with a fire of passion in her eyes. before i could figure out if that was bad or good she seized me by the shirt and pushed me to the wall.

'what the fuck do you think youre doing!?' she demanded

i struggled to come up with and answer. she came at me out of the din at Sully's Pub. before i could think of what i did to instigate her fury she spoke again.

'youre a dick you know that!?' and kissed me on the mouth with a passion thats usually reserved for Latin American revolutionaries and Shakespearian tragedies for a few brief seconds and walked out. i swear i saw her crack a smirk.

Rob stared at me dumfounded. 'who was that? what just happened!?!?'

'a girl i went out with a couple times.' i said, still realing. 'i think she just broke it off...'

'WHY ARE YOU SMILING, THEN!?'

i started laughing. 'thats got to be the best way to end a fling. ever.'

say bye to the corner

Tiger Stadium is going, going, gone. i couldnt help myself.

the demo fence is going up. demo will begin in the next week or two. the comments ive heard have ranged from 'its a tragedy and a travesty' to ''bout time, no use in watching another abandoned building rot.' i have to say im going with the pragmatists on this one. the only halfway viable thing to do with it is to get a MLS team and play soccer in it. other than that its completely obsolete and entirely useless. that being said, its kind of sad. im hoping maybe to snatch a scrap of steel or a brick or something where im back in the D in a couple weeks.

now, what happens next? i know there have been all sorts of talks and perhaps a decision has been made, but if i address that how am i to give my opinion, which is more important. to me anyway.

way back when, before there was a Detroit Tigers, Bennet Field, MCS, or most of the buildings still standing in Detroit, it was Western Market. i bet Eastern Market makes more sense now, huh? anyway, the property has for all essential purposes been publicly used. why not turn it back into Western Market. one of the few things that Detroit has going for it is Eastern Market, so why not try a spin on that same thing. i dont know that theres the clientelle to use the same template, but a variation on a theme i think would be successful. use Eastern for foods and whatnot and Western for other sundries. althought the site is certainly big enough for both, i just dont want to ruin Eastern Market, as its one of the few good things Detroit has going.

anyway, its time to move on. lets say good bye, remember the good times, and look toward the future. i know its a hard thing to do in Detroit, but lets look ahead, rather than back, and maybe make something good out of this. or maybe some more condos no one wants. i guess we could do that too....

the pentogram strikes back... maybe...

Chrysler, not Wicca, is going to offer an option to turn your car into a WiFi hotspot along with some other stuff that will help it to compete with the Ford/Microsoft Sync system. my initial reaction was 'cool! that could be useful when out of town.' but then i thought that i generally fly everywhere except on camping trips, and then i dont really want the interweb following me. i also dont like the idea of paying a monthly fee for this on top of the sticker price.

some comment hecklers point out that Chrysler can put WiFi in a car, but cant make a car with any sort of fuel efficiency, which is a good point. well, they, Ford, and GM do make small cars, but the domestic little guys are now what the first Toyotas, Hondas, and VW's were: econo-boxes. except you can generally get a better deal from an import. its sad really. the domestic auto makers spent so much time catering to the SUV and truck market that they forgot how to make an attractive car at a nice price. now theyre scrambling to catch up and throwing in these gadgets to try and close the gap.

in my opinion, what would really help Chrysler is to broaden their relationship with VW, who is very successful in selling small and midsize cars. Chrysler is going to be producing the VW van line based on the very successful line Chrysler pioneered. now if Chrysler can get that going the other way on cars like the Rabbit, Jetta, Passat, and maybe even the Tiguan, then theyll have something on which nifty electronics may be the clincher. slick gadgets stuck on a Neon arent going to get me to buy a crappy Neon, tho. and somehow i doubt that VW is going to let Chrysler bastardize their sucessful designs.

i used to drive a Dynasty, and i LOVED that car. it was way ahead of its time, was shaped like a brick, could seat 14, had a trunck big enough to rent out as studio appartment and still go like 27 miles to the gallon. that was back in '89, when a computer was about the same size as a car. it seems like the rest of the industry has been moving forward while Chrysler made huge trucks and fought with the German cousins. i hope this thing turns around. Iacoca saved it once, i dont know if he can pull it off again.

whats this?

i dont know if any of the 3 people who read this will be able to tell me the answer this question, but what the hell is this!? this thing, fenced off, with some sort of silos from the last century and a bunch of posts. somewhat maintained, somewhat decaying, crumbling. its between N. Capitol and First St NW and Michigan Ave and Channing St. in Washington DC, just around the corner from me. does it have something to do with the reservoir thats also fenced off? indian graveyard? UFO landing pad? city owned chicken farm thats fallen into ruin? cheese aging facility?

it was bound to happen

if youre from or know the detroit area youll probably appreciate this. if not, it may not make much sense at all.

god rant

the Washington Post has inspired this with a couple of articles. first, this one telling atheists and agnostics that they are wrong. the second is this one which tells Christians and Muslims to get along for the good of the planet, and sure, its a good point, but it does little good without incorporating Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists, atheists, and the innumerable others that i could not begin to mention.

the first brings up the thought of religious freedom and respect. Michael Novak attacks atheists and agnostics for not giving in to the 'inherent' belief in god. i cant help but take exception to this. Christians would not take such a broad accusation, that they are wrong in their faith, with good humor. he claims evidence is all around us that god exists. maybe for you it points to god. but it doesnt for me. to me freedom of religion also means the freedom not to have one at all. i dont go around telling believers of any faith they are wrong.

he cites 'prison writing' as evidence. that through this hardship faith is all people have. but thats just a few. im pretty sure there are people out there in prison who have faith in family, friends, and themselves to get through hard times. when i was dying in the hospital, i thought of god. i wished somehow, that i could take comfort in him. but he was absent. there is a void where many claim to find god. i found comfort and strength and courage to fight not in god, but in man. it was my family, my friends, and, in time, myself that got me through that rough period of life. ive never felt the guidance or comfort of god. thats not to say that others dont. for me, the christian god it about as relevant as Zeus, Apollo, or Athena.

i have faith in myself and my fellow man. i think it is in the human character to believe in something, but to say it is god is a mischaracterization. i think its easy to have faith in god, who cannot be proved wrong because he cant be proved. to have faith in man, both others and one's self is more difficult. man is inevitably fallible.

its hard for me to argue this kind of point because it is so insulting and baseless. some see beauty in blind faith, but to me its terrifying and the evangelism of it is despicable. if people are inherently faithful, as you claim, let them come to it on their own. it just pisses people like me off.

the second article is nice. its about religions respecting and engaging each other in order to benefit all. well duh. the problem i see is that everyone with their different religious beliefs thinks they are right, and therefore have trouble engaging and respecting faiths that are wrong. i mean, if you cant even pick the right god, how can you possibly come to understand the issues at hand?

in 'Dogma' Chris Rock, who plays the 13th disciple, says "I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant."(thanks to imdb.com)

i have an idea, you have an idea. so what. but my belief is right while yours is wrong. theres a fight in that. we could all stand to back off our beliefs, start having ideas, and start treating other humans like humans. my fellow man is my brother, and i do my best to treat him as such. no im not perfect. and neither are you. were all in this together and i think it will work out a bit better if we can put our differences aside and see how alike we are.

i may have faith in foolish idealism, but thats more productive than insulting whole groups of people who differ from you. it all goes back to my theory that the world would be a nicer place if everyone just quit being a dick.

heavier than intended.

Shakespeare wrote in Richard III: 'hope to joy is little less in joy than hope enjoyed.'

i have this to add: hope destroyed is little less than joy destroyed.

sometimes my thoughts come out heavier than i intended, but its still true.

she observes the swimmers and sunbathers with the air of a queen deposed. once unconcerned for her own future who dabbled in matters of international policy, now forced to take a plebeian job to ensure her well being. and as a demoted executive might, she rules her fiefdom rigidly, at her will and whims and in strict accordance with the rule of law. yet something in her manner betrays an interest, a curiosity in her subjects. its as if now, with her lowered status, she sees them in new light and with a new respect. cracks in her haughty facade reveal a person, like the rest of us, who is trying to get a grip on her new life and how she fits in this foreign world. it appears that she wants a king, not a well bred monarch, but a wise to the world commoner who can ease her transition and respect her heritage. but how can she open the gates to one, and not all, and how to know which one? she eyes us hoi polloi, wondering for the first time perhaps, who we really are.

she sits there, poker faced, forcing visitors to sign her book, her stony manner betrayed by her cherub's countenance. she is young and her face smooth and round. like a toddler's, but with tired eyes. the sun gives her the permanent appearance of a flush. its as if she is ever embarrassed of what she has come to. her impression is further befuddled as she rises to walk. she has the body of a nymph. toned legs from use, not exercise. they dont ripple or bulge with muscle, but are smooth and steady. when she walks they carry her with no more effort than a breeze carries a leaf. she nearly floats, with legs to merely set the path. those legs, like her torso, are colored by the sun to an auburn glow, tinted pink at the end of the day. she sucks in her belly, ever so slightly, a chink in her armor of arrogance. she cares what we think, at least to some degree, and that small fact, unnoticed by most, makes her human in the eyes of those that do. presiding above her golden curves lie the two haves of a globe split to for her breasts. they float, defying gravity and challenging men in the vicinity to look without being caught by her fierce eyes.

i watch her through my dark glasses between passages in my book. i think she knows, and allows it, if not encouraging it, in fleeting glances my way. i admire her from my lounge chair. i wonder what fills her head. i crave access to her world. not like a drowning man craves air, but like a child craves ice cream. i want to know her mind and her body. id like to slip though that chink in her armor, help her through our world, if only, and most probably, briefly. like two roads we might join to bridge a river, then split on the far shore, our combination achieving what neither alone could do, but splitting unceremoniously, casually, and easily once the task is completed to return to our pre-stream headings, a bit wiser and richer.

now you probably think im a creep.

sometimes you just have to admit when youve been beaten. and its not always a bad thing. ive never been the best, nor the worst, at being succinct. i think that is a wonderful ability, to say something in few words that says it all. and ive been beaten, and i love it.

unicorn!

they do exist!

wholesale piracy

so i was reading my friend, Heidi's blog. she said how she wishes everything were blue. she pointed to Picasso's blue period, while i immediately thought of the song that follows. its one of two that really convinced me that i like Bright Eyes. the other is Well Whiskey. the whole Lua EP is pretty awesome. anyway, i felt a similar way a couple months ago, except i wanted everything to be green. it was right before spring, and i think i was in green deprivation.

and i basically just stole this whole idea, but im okay with it if one of you reads Heidi's blog. she's not as prolific as i am with my two blogs, but she more than makes up for it in quality.

and check out True Blue by Bright Eyes(Connor Oberst):

I am a blue blood I will admit that.
I dance in blue shoes and wear a blue hat.
Live in a blue house, on a blue street,
in a blue town by a blue creek.
I write my blue songs with my blue pen.
I sing the blue notes to my blue friends.
Now I don't know that much about you,
but I like you because you’re true blue.

I had a blue dream about a blue star.
In it I drove there in my blue car.
And when I got there, I met a blue dog
with a blue tongue, we had some real fun.
We bounced a blue ball. It broke a blue glass.
We banged on blue drums and called it bluegrass.
Guess the thing I'm trying to tell you,
is that it’s best kid if you're true blue.

Once I had gangrene, I got it real bad.
And so the Doc came with his black bag.
I said "You know doc, I don't feel swell.
If you had a blue bag I think I'd feel well."
So he came right back with a blue sack.
He said, "Will this do?" I said, "Why not? Yeah."
That’s how I am here today to tell you,
that it’s best man to be true blue.

Out on the blue sea I sailed a blue ship.
I had a first mate, always had blue lips.
His name was Bluebeard.
He had a weird twitch.
We flew a blue flag on a big stick.
And we ate bluegill and we ate blue chips.
Oh, I felt real blue eating that blue fish.
Because there ain't much that I won't do,
unless it keeps me from being true blue.

Once in a blue moon there’s a blue sky.
I wear my blue jeans and fly my blue kite.
Hangs like a bluebird until the wind dies
and then the tears pour out of my blue eyes.
If it’s your birthday, we'll bake a blue cake
and then we'll eat it off these blue plates.
‘cause kid I don't know much about you,
but I like you because you're true blue.
Yeah, I don't know much about you,
but I like you ‘cause you're true blue.

brendan benson

pandora.com loves him today. but so do i. it just struck me that id like to see him with out Jack White. keep in mind, i really dig the Raconteurs, but theres something to Benson's solo stuff. its more chill and mellow, and sometimes thats just right. plus almost all of his lyrics speak to me. especially when you go through one of those phases where you try and step away and understand yourself. its never easy and the only real solution is to climb back inside and go one being you and doing what you do. i know who i am, i just dont always understand it. thats weird. Brendan seems to get that. but so do the Bouncing Souls, Alkaline Trio, Manchester Orchestra, Bradley Nowell, Dan Sartain, and even Jack White.

my obsession with music and words continues. i have too many quotes bouncing through my head to know where to begin. so ill use my own words: hopeless and hopeful.

Vonnegut in Retrospect

over the weekend i finished Kurt Vonnegut's posthumously(he's up in heaven now.) issued "Armageddon in Retrospect." and as you might expect from any of his works, there are a number of good laughs woven into the rather gloomy but hopeful tales. its a collection of 12 unpublished works, including his last speech, which is great.

i can see why these stories may not have been published while he was alive. they are a bit rough and under-developed, but nonetheless, great. rather than a novel on a subject, with a short story, you get right to the point. thats something that Kurt had no problem doing. he has a way of depressing you with humanity, making you laugh, and giving you a little hope all at the same time. he is definitely one of my favorite writers.

id recommend this to anyone who has a couple of his better known novels under their belts. i dont think it is a good starting point. but what do i know. ive broken his cardinal rule of writing a number of times by using that hermaphrodite transvestite of punctuation called a semicolon. and i did go to college.

also, i have been know to have random writing burst out of me, but nothing of great enough weight or depth to create a real story as i have long wanted to do. i dont think i ever wondered where to get material. its a matter of putting enough related and coherent stuff together. i think its all in time, as they say. and as i was thinking about this i finished the book, which culminates with this quote that i love:“Where do I get my ideas from? You might as well have asked that of Beethoven. He was goofing around in Germany likfe everybody else, and all of a sudden this stuff came gushing out of him. It was music. I was goofing around like everybody else in Indiana, and all of a sudden stuff came gushing out. It was disgust with civilization.”

dont go to hip hop shows in white towns.

so the sound guy at the state theater in falls church is terrible. awful. sinfully bad. performances arent usually determined by outside factors, but Blackalicious was really hindered by this asshole. i should have followed my instinct that it was suspect to have a hip hop show in a REALLY white suburb. sure a lot of hip hop is base and vocals, but that doesnt mean you ought to turn them both up so high it muddles the sounds and makes even the best, head nodding tunes almost unrecognizable.

oh, and while ive got my blaming hat on, Lateef wasnt any help either. evidently he and Gift of Gab have a new project, but things is, i didnt come to see Lateef take over the show. i came for Blackalicious jams that i know and love. i wouldnt knock playing a song or two from your new project, but taking up half the show was a bit much. i almost left. im glad i didnt, the encore was the best part of the show. Lateef finally shut up and just did some back ups, and we finally got what we payed for.

really, Blackalicious did a good job. they were just hindered. i have to say the show would have been awesome at the 930 club or the black cat, where the sound is generally good. putting a muzzle on Lateef would help too. i like giving good reviews, but i have to try to find the silver lining in this one. its just a bummer when a performer, who as well as i can tell did a good job, is dragged down by outside factors.

last night was a really good night. well, after the hour and a half drive home. but i shouldnt complain, i got there. i read in the Post that a tree fell on a car killing the passenger and seriously injuring the driver. 'things could be much worse, natural disasters, on the evening news.'

anyway, after zig-zaggin around downed power lines, blocked roads, and major arteries that took on the appearance of parking lots, i made it home. we ordered a pizza, had a few beers and cheered on the wings as the claimed the Stanley Cup. it was great.

i talked to a friend back in Michigan after the game. frosting on the cake.

im a very tired, but very happy camper at the moment. and, if i can keep it going, ive got the Blackalicious concert to look forward to. not much to complain about, these days.

holy hockey

i dont know about you, but i stayed up to watch the game. i dont know how you couldnt. it was an incredible game with a bummer of an ending for Detroit fans. i was just letting my guard down at the end of the 3rd period when Talbot knocked in the rebound to send the game to OT. i was sure that the wings, who dominated from the middle of the game on, would end it early in OT and Detroit would have a reason to celebrate.

but i guess we will have to wait. i expected to leave the bar jubilant and triumphant, but i left drunk and tired and bummed i did get to see the cup.

then my alarm went off at 530 and i was still drunk. i got up and went to a jobsite to meet some people, still drunk. i didnt feel sober til about 9 this morning. and we get to do it all again tomorrow. maybe this time i wont drink so much. im half awake and waiting out the hours til is quitting time.

still, it was a great hockey game. i love the playoffs. especially when the guys wearing the winged wheel are playing.