this is mostly me lamenting, so feel free to skip it. i just need to get this off my mind.
why do people lie to friends? what good can it possibly do? if you will do something, just do it. and if for whatever reason you cant, fucking pick up the phone and let the other people know not to waste their time. its ridiculous. and its ridiculous that this shit gets to me. i think its the dishonesty of it all. i wish i could not care. i wish it didnt affect me. but it does.
also, what the fuck is up with still's disease. this shit pisses me off. why has this weekend been so taxing on me. i didnt even do anything to stress my body, and here i sit, feeling crappy, further weighing on my mood. at least ive got drugs to help. not the recreational kind. the kind that the doc prescribes. i thought everything was going so well. i hadnt had problems in so long.
support stem cell research. support all research. there are lots of people out there with worse problems than mine. we all want a better way, even if not for us, for the well being of next kid who is diagnosed with still's disease or diabetes.
'these long lonely years out at sea
have left me empty, cold, and clear,
pour yourself into me.'
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musings in poetry, prose, random thoughts, and if youre lucky maybe even some sort of visual art. try not to wet yourself.
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